Finding Balance and Joy: Insights from Coach Liliane de Vries
In a world where burnout among healthcare professionals has reached epidemic proportions, Liliane de Vries offers a refreshing perspective on reclaiming one’s life. As a certified coach and former Canadian nurse, Liliane specializes in helping unstoppable women find peace and balance in their lives, drawing from her own transformative journey.
Liliane began her career as a nurse working in oncology, where she developed deep connections with her patients. However, like many healthcare professionals, she eventually found herself asking, “What else could I do?” This question led her through various career paths, including working in her parents’ French restaurant, customer service, and pharmaceuticals, before discovering her passion for coaching. It was during her coaching training that Liliane had a profound realization: before she could effectively help others, she needed to do her own inner work.
One of the most significant challenges Liliane observes among nurses is their reluctance to invest in themselves. Many nurses operate with the mindset that “the system owes me” and wait for external solutions rather than taking personal responsibility for their wellbeing. This mindset, combined with the intense, war-zone-like environment of healthcare facilities, creates a perfect storm for burnout and dissatisfaction. Nurses often leave their shifts completely exhausted, with little energy to focus on their own needs.
Lilianes’s personal breaking point came when she found herself crying while doing dishes, thinking, “I didn’t sign up for this.” This crisis led to what she calls “Project Lil” – a six-month sabbatical from her roles as wife, mother, and daughter to focus solely on herself. The most powerful lesson she learned, surprisingly, came within the first hour of this sabbatical: “I had full permission to look after me. I now had nobody to blame.” This realization shifted everything, as she recognized that she alone was responsible for her happiness.
A core concept in Liliane’s coaching approach is understanding the “negative chatter” in our brains. She references the Cherokee tale of two wolves – one representing negative emotions like guilt and shame, the other representing positive qualities like joy and curiosity. The wolf that wins is the one you feed. Similarly, in positive intelligence training, practitioners learn to recognize their “saboteurs” – the inner voices that criticize, avoid, or try to control everything.
Perhaps one of the most powerful insights Liliane shares is the difference between happiness and joy: “Happiness is circumstantial. I’ll be happy when I retire, when I’m married, when I have that white picket fence house… Whereas joy is an attitude that defies all circumstances.” This perspective allows individuals to find peace regardless of external conditions – a crucial skill in high-stress professions like nursing.
For those struggling with self-acceptance, Liliane recommends simple practices like a mirror exercise where you look into your own eyes and repeat affirmations: “I’m proud of you,” “I forgive you,” and “I commit to.” These small steps can lead to profound changes in how we relate to ourselves and others.
Ultimately, Liliane’s message is about empowerment through self-awareness and intentional choices. Whether it’s setting boundaries in relationships, reframing challenges as opportunities, or simply asking “What do I need right now?” rather than “What do I need to do?”, each of us has the power to reclaim our joy and balance – even in the midst of challenging circumstances.
Ready to move from surviving to thriving? Discover how asking yourself “What do I need right now?” rather than “What do I need to do?” can be the first step toward reclaiming your joy, purpose, and balance. Connect with Liliane’s free support group for nurses or book a one-on-one call to explore how her coaching might support your journey.
Liliane de Vries
Website: www.lilianedevries.com and www.aliveinhealthcare.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AlivewithLilianedeVries/
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/liliane-devries
Videos: https://www.youtube.com/@alivewithLiliane/videos
Author: The Passionate Nurse: https://www.amazon.ca/Passionate-Nurse-Liliane-Vries/dp/1978194439/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1531858474&sr=1-1&keywords=the+passionate+nurse
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